Nativity of Christ

 

 Nativity of Christ

 By Simone dei Crocifissi

1380

Tempera on wood, 47x25 cm

Uffizi Gallery, Florence, Italy

ANGEL (upper right, in red): So my lower body is supposed to be a cloud, but I wonder if that shepherd down there thinks he's looking up my tutu?  Oh hey there!

SHEPHERD: Hey girl!

OX: FOR THE LOVE OF YAHWEH TAKE THIS ROPE OFF MY NECK!!!!!!!!

The Virgin and Child with the Venerable Brother Francisco del Niño Jesús Blessing a Youth

The Virgin and Child with the Venerable Brother Francisco del Niño Jesús Blessing a Youth
By Juan Sariñena
1607
Real Colegio Seminario del Corpus Christi, Valencia, Spain

Mother and son: killing it with the eyebrow pencil.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Simon Vouet

Christ child or flotation device?

St. Anne, Mary and Christ Child

St. Anne, Mary and Christ Child

16th Century

AKA The Didn't I See you in National Geographic? Holy Family

Holy Family

Holy Family
By Marcello Venusti
1565
National Gallery, London, UK

SQUISHY: Imma be real real with ya'll: it's too damn early for this Holy Bible bizness.

Adoration of the Magi

Adoration of the Magi

12th century, third quarter  

English Psalter on parchment

Exhibit A on how medieval art never fails to entertain.  Do you dig the three surprised Kings?  Did you notice the subliminal boobs formed by the pink towers on top?

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Cesare Vecellio

The Great Dane of baby Jesus's.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By George Nicholson
1930
Print on papyrus, 162 x 126 millimeters
British Museum, London, UK

You werq it Squishy!

Adoration of the Magi

Adoration of the Magi
Detail from an illuminated manuscript

Adoration of the "Meh" Magi.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Maesto di San Jacopo a Mucciana
1410-20
Musei Civici, Pesaro, Italy

LOST: right breast of virgin mother.  Last seen inside red gown.  Please return immediately if found.  Eternal reward.

Presentation of Jesus at the Temple

Presentation of Jesus at the Temple (detail)
By Ambrogio Lorenzetti
1342
Oil on panel, 257 × 168 cm
Galleria degli Uffizi, Florence, Italy

Don't ever get old, kid.  Adults have scary wrinkles.

The Adoration of the Magi

The Adoration of the Magi
Mid 15th Century
Illumination detail from a book of hours, use of Rome

While everyone's busy offering Squishy gifts, Joseph takes advantage of a little down time to grill out on his hibachi.  Happy Labor Day everyone!

Virgin Enthroned with Child

Virgin Enthroned with Child
12th century, third quarter
Manuscript illumination on parchment

Please oh please will someone buy me this chair?  There's a giant fleu-de-lis in it for you.