Friday, July 31, 2009

Mary of Grace

Mary of Grace
by Cigri
1600's

Methinks Abu's eyebrows have morphed into a mustache since he was a lad....

Thursday, July 30, 2009

The Holy Kinship

The Holy Kinship
by Master of the Lille Adoration
@ 1510 - 30
Rijkmuseum, Amsterdam

Fruit..must have...fruit.....give me...........grapes.......


Sunday, July 26, 2009

Virgin and Child in an Apse


Virgin and Child in an Apse
By a follower of Robert Campin
about 1480
National Gallery of Art, London

Squishy Jesus and Mary hang out in an apse while two angels serenade them with a song called Our Lady of the Miraculously Centered Breast.


Saturday, July 25, 2009

Birth of Christ

Birth of Christ
by Master of the Virgo inter Virgines
c. 1500
Oil on panel, 90,5 x 68 cm
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna, Austria

I'd like to retitle this painting The Mies van der Rohe Adoration after the minimalist-chic manger Jesus is lying in.

I'd also like to rename the attending ox The Oh My God Cow.

And finally, I'd like to give baby Jesus some crackers or something. He's looking a bit lean.



Friday, July 24, 2009

Virgin and Child with the Infant St. John the Baptist

Virgin and Child with the Infant St. John the Baptist
by Sandro Botticelli
1490-1500
Tempera on panel, 29.12 × 29.12 in
São Paulo Museum of Art, São Paulo, Brazil

Can anyone tell me why Mary is wearing a cymbal on her head?

Sunday, July 19, 2009

Madonna with Child, St. Peter and John the Baptist, Martyr

Madonna with Child, St. Peter and John the Baptist, Martyr
by Michelino da Besozzo
c 1430

Is that....is it really? A head on a plate? OMFG!

Gaaaaahhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Madonna with the Parrots

Madonna with the Parrots
by Hans Baldung
c. 1527-1528
Painting on wood
91.5 × 63.4 cm
Germanisches National Museum, Nuremberg

It's not commonly known that, along with an ox and ass, Jesus was adored by two green parrots. He also had a homely cherub friend to hold cobwebs away from him so folks could get a better view.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Nativity, at Night

Nativity, at Night
by Geertgen tot Sint Jans
1484-90
Oil on oak, 34 x 25 cm
National Gallery, London







Silent night, holy night
All is calm, all is bright
Round yon Virgin Mother and Glowworm
Holy Glowworm so tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace

Silent night, holy night!
Shepherds quake at the sight
Glories stream from heaven afar
Heavenly hosts sing Alleluia!
Christ, the Glowworm is born
Christ, the Glowworm is born

Silent night, holy night
Son of God, love's pure light
Radiant beams from Thy holy face
With the dawn of redeeming grace
Glowworm, Lord, at Thy birth
Glowworm, Lord, at Thy birth

Sunday, July 12, 2009

The Infant Jesus in the Manger

The Infant Jesus in the Manger
Painting ceiling panel
St Martin’s Church, Zillis, Switzerland

Can't wait to taste this unusually large species of carrot!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

The Gift of Kalmthout

The Gift of Kalmthout
by Goossen van der Weyden
1511
Oil on oak panel, 153 x 153 cm
Staatliche Museen, Berlin

Master Po: Close your eyes. What do you hear?
Squishy Jesus:
I hear the water, I hear the birds.

Po:
Do you hear your own heartbeat?

Squishy:
No.

Po:
Do you hear the grasshopper that is at your feet?

Squishy:
Old man, how is it that you hear these things?

Po:
Young man, how is it that you do not?



Thursday, July 9, 2009

Bridgewater Madonna

Bridgewater Madonna
by Raphael Sanzio
c. 1507
Oil on wood transferred to canvas
Collection of the Earl of Ellesmere, London

Raphael, could you please paint a little bit faster? This position is totally uncomfortable. Now I know what Victoria Secret models go through....

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Holy Family with Saints

Holy Family with Saints
by Alessandro Tiarini
c. 1620
Oil on canvas
The Hermitage, St. Petersburg

Ooh la la! Zee feet, zhey smells like zee feet of angels!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Salting Madonna

Salting Madonna
by Antonello da Messina
c. 1460s
Various techniques on wood, 17 x 13.5 "
National Gallery, London

Squishy Jesus, looking spiffy in his velvet suit, has a remarkably full head of hair. He looks on in amazement as two ax-blade winged angels lower a crown on his mom's head.

Really, this is a gorgeous painting, but so NOT a painting of a baby.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Holy Family with St. John the Baptist as child

Holy Family with St. John the Baptist as child
by Sodoma
1520-1530
Oil on poplar wood, top round cut: 83.5 x 58 cm
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

OMG Jesus, you totally have to tell me where you get those smokin' crosses. Oh come on, you can tell me, who does your decorating?