Saturday, December 31, 2011

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
From the Royal Museum of Fine Arts, Brussels

New Year's Resolutions:

1) Master the art of sideways breastfeeding
2) Learn sign language
3) Do both simultaneously.

Thursday, December 29, 2011

The Nativity

The Nativity
By the studio of Lucas Cranach the Elder
Oil on panel, 29 x 48 cm
The National Trust Collection

The little putto in the front is getting ready to try out to be a Victoria Secret angel, transparent lingerie and all....

Sunday, December 25, 2011

The Madonna of Humility

The Madonna of Humility
By Niccolo Semitecolo
Tempera on panel
The Basilica of St. Anthony, Padua, Italy

MARY: So I says to the kid "What do ya want for your birthday" and he says "I wanna drink milk from a boob coming out of your belly button". And who am I to deny him?

Thursday, December 22, 2011

Holy Family

Holy Family
By Cesare Dandini
Oil on canvas, 58.3 x 43.7 "
Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia

Uh oh--looks like I'm not the only one who's been eating too many Christmas cookies....

Wednesday, December 21, 2011

Madonna of the Milk

Madonna of the Milk
By an unknown painter from Abruzzo with Byzantine influence

Holy water-balloon tit Batman!

Sunday, December 18, 2011

The Adoration of the Christ Child

The Adoration of the Christ Child
By a follower of Jan van Kalkar

MARY: He's beautiful! And he's come to save mankind from sin!

ANGELS: Even better, he doubles as a space heater!!!

Thursday, December 15, 2011

The Madonna and Child with Female Martyr in a Landscape

The Madonna and Child with Female Martyr in a Landscape
By Giovan Battista Benvenuti
Oil on panel, 17.5 x 14.8 "

Damn this Pilates is a bitch!

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Image of Christ

Image of Christ
By Fra Anselm Turmeda
From a book printed in Barcelona called la Oració de Sant Roch

Oh hey, Squishy needs a training bra!

Friday, December 9, 2011

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Tapestry in the Museum of Applied Arts, Frankfurt, Germany

Alternate title: Millipede Madonna and Child.

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Madonna Incaldana

Madonna Incaldana
By Giuseppe Papa


1) Where is that boob coming from?
2) How do Mary and Jesus keep those crowns from slipping off their heads?

Wednesday, December 7, 2011

The Fountain of Life

The Fountain of Life
By Father Victor
c. 1650-1700
Icon from the Church of the Blessed Virgin in Corfu, Greece

Spitting fountain crib for the win!

Sunday, December 4, 2011

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By Cristoforo di Giovanni da San Severino
Detail of a fresco in the Church of Pantanelle,San Severino Marche, Italy

QUICK: someone get this couple a laxative!