Thursday, March 31, 2011

Enthroned Madonna

Enthroned Madonna
Detailed of an illuminated manuscript in the Cologne Cathedral Library

Here we have squiggly brow Mary and alleged baby Jesus (yeah, so his hands and feet are bigger than his head...)

This Squishy is totally the kid who spends high school art class making ceramic bongs and takes shop class all four years.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011


By Master of the Weildorf Altar
1430 - 35
Salzburg, Austria

Manger....or exhaust hood?

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Madonna with Child and Angels

Madonna and Child with Angels By Domenico Ghirlandio Boijamns van Beuningen Museum, Rotterdam, Netherlands

Ahhhh....isn't it bromantic?

Thursday, March 24, 2011

The Virgin of Compassion

The Virgin of Compassion
By an unknown Belarusian artist
Egg tempera, silvered metal, engraving, casting, printing and glass on wooden board, 120 x 69 cm
St. Barbara Cathedral, Pinsk, Belarus

What the crunk? You've heard of a tin foil hat? This crazy virgin and child have got the whole tin foil outfit!!!

Monday, March 21, 2011

The Visitation of Virgin Mary to Elizabeth

The Visitation of Virgin Mary to Elizabeth
Detail of a 14th century wall-painting in the Timios Stavros Church in Pelendri, Cyprus

This is a first for the Squishy Jesus Taxonomy: Baby St. Jesus and St. John as fetuses! The little guys may be unborn, but they still have halos.

St. John isn't looking so hot--do you think he's bowing before Squishy or keeling over?

Mary and Elizabeth remind us of just how difficult it is to hug without smashing halos together.

Friday, March 18, 2011

The Gifts of the Magi

The Gifts of the Magi
Detail of a fresco in Clusone, Beragamo, Italy

Screw the gifts of frankincense and myrrh--what this kid needs is Rogaine!

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Adoration of the Shepherds

Adoration of the Shepherds
By Agnoli Bronzino

Now who really cares about this painting? What I would actually like to know is can I have the digits of that shirtless shepherd on the lower right? Hottie you can kneel down in front of me any day.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Sleeping Christ Child

Sleeping Christ Child
Detail of a fresco in St. Nikita, Macedonia

Sleeping Christ Child--hello? This baby is bigger than his mom and has a five o'clock shadow.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By an unknown Belarusian artist
Kalozha Church, Hrodna, Belarus

Jesus Christ Superstar!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The Virgin and Child in a Landscape

The Virgin and Child in a Landscape
By Bernaert van Orly
The National Gallery of Art, London

It's a breast. You drink out of it.
It is NOT a flotation device.

Sunday, March 6, 2011


1170 - 1190
Detail of an altarpiece
Frontal d'Avila, Barcelona

RED OX TO SQUISHY: What you up to 'bro?

SQUISHY: Just chillaxin in the crib.

BLUE ASS: You mean manger?

Saturday, March 5, 2011

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
1250 - 1300
Detail of a tempera painting on wood
From the sanctuary of the Virgin of Rigatell

The matching mother and son eyebrows are EPIC.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Spanish School
Oil on canvas, 44 x 36"

And she brought forth her firstborn son, and wrapped him in a gold-encrusted cone, because swaddling clothes are just so b.c.

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

The Adoration of the Magi

The Adoration of the Magi
By Benvenuto di Giovanni
The Smithsonian National Gallery

SQUISHY: You people are supposed to adore me, and most importantly, give me gifts. Stop slobbering all over my foot--it is vile.

KING (in blue tunic to the right): Why is everyone looking at that boring pale baby. Hello people?!? Check me out over here in this stylin' look. Girl, I have a master's degree in fierce.