Sunday, July 29, 2012

Presentation to the Temple

Presentation to the Temple (detail)
Our Lady of Mercy Church, Selva, Italy

Quick, someone tell the rabbi he has a caterpillar on his forehead!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Mary and Child and the Boy St. John

Mary and Child and the Boy St. John
By Luca Longhi

SQUISHY: Promise me something honey?

ST. JOHN: Anything for you dear.

SQUISHY: Say you'll never, ever, eat at Chick-fil-A.

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Christ Returning to His Parents

Christ Returning to His Parents
By Simone Martini
Tempera on wood, 49,5 x 35 cm
Walker Art Gallery, Liverpool, UK

MARY: This is the third time you've come home past curfew Jesus!

JOSEPH:  You're grounded, young man!  No more donkey riding privileges for a month.

TEENAGE SQUISHY:  OMG my parents are so lame!!

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Virgin and Child with Saints and Donors

Virgin and Child with Saints and Donors
By Bernardino Luini
Oil on canvas transferred from wood, 78 x 126 cm
Museo Civico, Padua, Italy

There you are,  just trying to suck down a little breast milk in peace, when a bunch of people with big chins start staring at you, and one of them has eyeballs on a plate!!!!!

Friday, July 20, 2012

The Adoration of the Magi

The Adoration of the Magi
By Gaudenzio Ferrari
Detached fresco transferred to canvas, 74.8 x 53.1"
Pinacota di Brera, Milan, Italy

This little piggy went to market, this little piggy stayed home....

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Virgin Adoring the Child

Virgin Adoring the Child
By Francesco Botticini
Tempera with gold on panel, 71.4 x 47.5 cm
The Fitzwilliam Museum, Cambridge, UK

Never to young to start with the Tai Chi lessons....

Monday, July 16, 2012

Blue Madonna

Blue Madonna
By Dom Schleswig
Detail of an oil painting

My gaydar just exploded!

Friday, July 13, 2012

Icon of Our Lady of America

Icon of Our Lady of America
Saint Ann Melkite Greek Catholic Church, West Paterson, New Jersey

Take it easy on the bling Mary & S.J.  Those outfits would embarrass a pimp!

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Virgin and Child with infant St. John the Baptist
By Piero di Cosimo
Oil on  panel, 53.1" diameter
 Philbrook Museum of Art, Tulsa, Oklahoma, USA

Squishy and St. John: gettin' their freak on with a poor little lamb.....

Sunday, July 8, 2012

The Solothurn Madonna

The Solothurn Madonna
By Hans Holbein the Younger
Oil on wood, 140.5 x 102 cm
Museum der Stat Solothurn, Solothurn, Switzerland

You know, I don't remember the part in the Bible where a dude in armor with a giant feather shows up to see the baby Jesus....

Friday, July 6, 2012

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By an unknown painter

Starring your favorite virgin: Mary Cone-Boob-Freaky-Bendy-Finger.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Madonna and Child with St. John the Baptist and St. Sebastian

Madonna and Child with St. John the Baptist and St. Sebastian
By Pietro Perugino
Oil on wood, 164 x 178 cm
Uffizi Gallery, Florence, Italy

ST. JOHN: (pointing) Look over there at St. Sebastian--his plaid loincloth is going to fall off any second now!!!

SQUISHY:  Holy manscaping!  Hey St. Sebastian can you hook me up with whoever does your waxing?

Sunday, July 1, 2012

Vierge au Chapelet

Vierge au Chapelet

Mommy, this book is boring!  Can't you read me The Hunger Games instead?