Sunday, October 31, 2010

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By a painter of the Venetian Circle
Tempera on panel, 66 x 47.5 cm
Sibenik, Collection of Sacral Art in Church of Saint Barbara

In honor of Halloween: a freaky Madonna and Child. Yes, that breast is coming from Mary's shoulder....

Thursday, October 28, 2010

St. Luke Painting the Virgin

St. Luke painting the Virgin
By Martin van Heemskerk
Painting on wood, 168 x 236 cm
Musée des Beaux-Arts, Rennes, France

Yeah, so maybe a lot of people painted the Virgin and Child, but how many of them did it while sitting on an ox????????

Sunday, October 24, 2010

The Presentation in the Temple

The Presentation in the Temple
Detail of the prophet Simeon holding the infant Christ
By William Peckitt
Stained Glass
Oriel College Chapel, Oxford, England

SIMEON: Oy vey!

SQUISHY: Whatev.

Friday, October 22, 2010


By Scoliao di Giovanni
Painting on panel, 122.9 x 67.2 cm
Moretti Fine Art, New York

I'm changing the title of this to The Avalanche Nativity because of the apparent avalanche of snow sliding down the mountain in the background to cover the ox and ass. (Fortunately one of the shepherd's have punched a hole in the snow so they can breathe).

And there's Big-Belly-Baby-Jesus at the bottom of the avalanche on a glowing beach towel---nice!

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Madonna with Child

Madonna with Child
By Giovanni Bellini
Oil on canvas

MARY TO SQUISHY: I don't care if you practice all day, I'm not going to let you audition for American Idol!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

Adoration of the Magi

Adoration of the Magi
By da Cremona Girolamo
Oil on canvas

Is that an actual baby Mary is holding or an inflatable baby Jesus beach toy?

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Madonna and Child with Saints Francis and Sebastian

Madonna and Child with Saints Francis and Sebastian
By Carlo Crivelli
Oil and egg on poplar, 175 x151 cm
National Gallery, London

Poor baby Jesus is scared to death and clinging to mom, and who can blame him?

Don't you kind of wonder how St. Sebastian keeps his hair so nice when he's all shot up with arrows?

Don't you kind of wonder why there's a pickle hanging to the left of St. Sebastian's head?

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Geburt Christi

Geburt Christi
By an anonymous German artist
Tempera and gold on oak, 10.43 × 7.28"
Wallraf-Richartz Museum, Cologne, Germany

O. M. F. G.

I think I may have peed myself a little.

First, there's Squishy, whose green swaddling makes him closely resemble a piece of okra.

And Mary, well her lower body is so huge I at first thought it was a red mountain range.

Finally, the ox and ass: they only come up to Mary's ankle. Squeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thursday, October 7, 2010

Madonna and Child with St. John

Madonna and Child with St. John
By Bernardino di Betto
c. 1486
Tempera on panel, 31 x 23 "
Museo del Capitolo del Duomo, Citta di Castello, Italy

Oh baby Jesus you are so not pulling off the balding mullet. Get yourself some Rograine and a haircut, QUICK!

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Holy Family

Holy Family
By Cesare Veceillo
Oil on canvas, 70.5 x 40 cm

Ooooohh The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo! I can't put it down!