Madonna of the Angels

Madonna of the Angels
By Master of the Castello Nativity
1445 - 1475

Alright, I want all eyes over here. Come on everyone, look at the camera. HEY! Now we only get together once a year and you can all behave for a second so I can get this shot. I see you rolling your eyes back there. Jesus, leave your chin alone and give me a smile.

DAMN IT I SAID ALL EYES ON ME...NOW SMILE!

Nativity, Adoration of the Christ Child

Nativity, Adoration of the Christ Child (detail)
By Friedrich Herlin
2nd half of 15th century
Oil on wood
The Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia

If I were to describe this painting to someone, I'd have to use air quotes around the word baby.

Saint Anne Samotrzeć

Saint Anne Samotrzeć
By an unknown artist
National Museum in Wroclaw, Poland








See the giant lady on the throne/building? That's Anne, Mary's mom. Mary is the woman on Anne's lap whose lower body resembles a seal. And Jesus is on Mary's lap, holding his foot with one hand and a ball with a bird on it in his other hand. Good thing Anne is so big--holding too many people on your lap can tire a lady out.

Holy Kinship

Holy Kinship
by an unknown Bohemian painter
c. 1400 - 1420
Oil on panel, 27.5 " x 33.9"
Private collection

Holy kinship? More like holy baby tug-of-war.

Circumcision

Circumcision
Detail of the Altarpiece of the Twelve Apostles of Friedrich Herlin of Nördlingen
1466
Rothenburg ob der Tauber, Germany

This image captures one of the few moments when baby Jesus wished he was the daughter of God.

Virgin and Child Surrounded by Angels

Virgin and Child Surrounded by Angels (detail)
by Ludovico Urbani
Active 1466 - 1493
Petit Palais, Avignon, France

Oh noes! Old man squishy's male pattern baldness is in the shape of an octopus.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child

By an unknown French artist

Église de Brou, Bourg-en-Bresse, France 

Since Mary has such a chi chi looking veranda, you'd think she could spring for something more elegant than an old bed sheet for a turban/cape.  And maybe a diaper for the kid, too.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
by Maitre de Narni
c 1409
The Church of San Agostino of Narni
Narni and Terni (near Orvieto), in Umbria, Italy

Yep, the little red-headed dude's got it now, and he's not letting it go.

Madonna of the Broom

Madonna of the Broom (detail)
by Antonello de Saliba
1498
Museo Provinciale Catanzaro

Have you ever seen a guy with a comb-over caught in the wind and that big piece of hair covering his bald spot gets blown down and covers his face?

Well, you've seen it now.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
by Alesso Baldovinetti
15th Century
Oil on canvas, 90 x 74 cm
Musée Jacquemart-André, Paris

So, this is more or less Jesus topiary, right?

Virgin and Child with an Angel

Virgin and Child with an Angel
by Cosimo Rosselli
about 1470
Oil and tempera on panel, 28 3/4 x 17 7/8"
Museum of Fine Arts, Boston

Another carnation? Whatevs...

Adoration of the Christ Child

Adoration of the Christ Child
by Francesco Granacci
c. 1500
Tempera on wood panel
Honolulu Academy of Arts, Honolulu, USA

Mary and Joseph promise squishy Jesus that he can have a pebbles and bambam costume just like Saint John the Baptist if he promises to go on a diet.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
by Giovanni Baronzio
c. 1343
Petit Palais, Avignon, France

It's okay mommy. My daddy is God and he can give you a frontal lobe if I ask him.

The Virgin and Child

The Virgin and Child
By a follower of Hans Memling
1430-1494
Oil on cradled wood panel, 13.5" x 10"

Hey--preemies need milk too!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
by Master of the Liverpool Madonna
15th c.

Now what do we have here? A mullet? A male pattern baldness mullet? A male pattern baldness mullet bambino with subliminal penis belly?

A trifecta of greatness, people!!!!!