Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
c. 1500
Illuminated manuscript
Collection of the New York Public Library

Talk about product placement: Mary and Jesus are wearing matching Snuggies!

St. Anne, the Virgin and Christ

St. Anne, the Virgin and Christ
By Simon Bening
1532 Illuminated Manuscript

MARY: Mom! If I've told you once, I've told you 1000 times. MY HEAD IS NOT A LAP DESK!!!!!

Our Lady of the Victory of Málaga

Our Lady of the Victory of Málaga
by Luis Niño
about 1740
Denver Art Museum, Denver, USA

Dude looks like a lady.

Madonna and Child Nativity

Madonna and Child Nativity
12 th century
Mosaic
Detail of the Nativity from the ceiling of the Martorana, Palermo, Sicily

ASS TO OX: So do you think we should tell Mary we have a case of mistaken identity here?

OX TO ASS: Heck no! Who would want to hear that their child was switched with baby Frankenstein?

Madonna of Gravedona

Madonna of Gravedona
c. 1500
Detail of a fresco in the Church of Santa Maria delle Grazie, Gravesend, Italy

Oh, don't worry your pretty little orange afro head Squishy J--mommy's gonna beat off that scary devil with a stick!

Nativity and Annunciation to the Shepherds

Nativity and Annunciation to the Shepherds
11th century
Manuscript Illumination from the Bamburg Apocalypse

Let me just state the obvious: THIS IS NOT A BABY. Yeah, it was the 11th century and all, but how did they screw up enough to put a damn teenager in the manger?!

Confidential to the ass, love love love the long ears.

Nativity

Nativity

15th Century

Detail of a stained glass window in East Brent, Somerset, UK

Dude's got a cool basket and all, but what's with the looonnnng arm?

Madonna and Child with St. John

Madonna and Child with St. John

Detail of a fresco in St. Michael's Abbey, Val de Susa, Italy

........sorry..can't write now.............(cough).........laughing too hard.................................

St. Anthony of Padau

St. Anthony of Padua
By Ambrosius Benson
Painting detail from a triptych
From the Segovia Cathedral, Segovia, Spain

C'mon Ambrosius Benson, this is a baby not a lap dog. St. Anthony should so totally not be carrying him around like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Illumination
From the Lehman Collection, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Confidential to Mary and S.J.: you ever thought about using a self -tanner or maybe just a touch of bronzer? Just sayin'.............

The Holy Family

The Holy Family
By Jaques Stella
Oil on canvas

New years resolution? Ride the lamby every single day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Madonna and Child with Angels

Madonna and Child with Angels
Painting on panel
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

It's a night-of-the-living-dead pose fat-knees Madonna and Child----nice!

The Nativity

The Nativity
By Johann Koerbecke
1457
Painting from an altar
German National Museum, Nuremberg

SQUISHY: Hey, it's my birthday everyone. Could I please get some jammies, a onesie, or even just some pampers? And maybe something to lie down on--some leftover hay for example? Anything?????????

Madonna and Child with St. John

Madonna and Child with St. John
By Bernardino Luini
Oil on cavas

Did you hear? President Obama just signed the repeal of don't ask don't tell!

Hooooorayyy! Big hugs all around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Albrecht Durer
1516
Oil on panel, 27.9 x 20.5 cm
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Even the savior's gotta get his nappy changed.....

The Adoration of the Child

The Adoration of the Child
By Piero di Cosimo
1495-1500
Oil on wood panel
The Toledo Museum of Art, Toledo, USA

Showcasing the latest in rugged Bible chic furniture, baby Jesus reclines on a rock/chaise lounge.

St. Luke Painting the Virgin

St. Luke Painting the Virgin
By Maerten van Heemskerck
1532
Oil on panel
Frans Hals museum, Haarlem

Congrats Jesus--all that time at the gym is really starting to pay off!

Madonna with Chid and Saints

Madonna with Child and Saints
by Bonaventura Berlinghieri
First half of the 13th century
Uffizi gallery, Florence

Male. Pattern. Baldness.

Pala Sforzesca

Pala Sforzesca
By Master of Pala Sforzesca
about 1496-1497
Tempera on panel, 230 x 160 cm
Milan, Pinacoteca Brera

SQUISHY (to kneeling donor in blue): Dude, your hairstyle is totally unflattering!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Master of the Valencia Altarpiece
Panel
Sassari, Cathedral

Not only is the kid's head on sideways, but his ear is extremely large.....Mary's a looker though.