Madonna and Child with St. John

Madonna and Child with St. John

Detail of a fresco in St. Michael's Abbey, Val de Susa, Italy

........sorry..can't write now.............(cough).........laughing too hard.................................

St. Anthony of Padau

St. Anthony of Padua
By Ambrosius Benson
Painting detail from a triptych
From the Segovia Cathedral, Segovia, Spain

C'mon Ambrosius Benson, this is a baby not a lap dog. St. Anthony should so totally not be carrying him around like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Illumination
From the Lehman Collection, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Confidential to Mary and S.J.: you ever thought about using a self -tanner or maybe just a touch of bronzer? Just sayin'.............

The Holy Family

The Holy Family
By Jaques Stella
Oil on canvas

New years resolution? Ride the lamby every single day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Madonna and Child with Angels

Madonna and Child with Angels
Painting on panel
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

It's a night-of-the-living-dead pose fat-knees Madonna and Child----nice!

The Nativity

The Nativity
By Johann Koerbecke
1457
Painting from an altar
German National Museum, Nuremberg

SQUISHY: Hey, it's my birthday everyone. Could I please get some jammies, a onesie, or even just some pampers? And maybe something to lie down on--some leftover hay for example? Anything?????????

Madonna and Child with St. John

Madonna and Child with St. John
By Bernardino Luini
Oil on cavas

Did you hear? President Obama just signed the repeal of don't ask don't tell!

Hooooorayyy! Big hugs all around!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Albrecht Durer
1516
Oil on panel, 27.9 x 20.5 cm
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Even the savior's gotta get his nappy changed.....

The Adoration of the Child

The Adoration of the Child
By Piero di Cosimo
1495-1500
Oil on wood panel
The Toledo Museum of Art, Toledo, USA

Showcasing the latest in rugged Bible chic furniture, baby Jesus reclines on a rock/chaise lounge.

St. Luke Painting the Virgin

St. Luke Painting the Virgin
By Maerten van Heemskerck
1532
Oil on panel
Frans Hals museum, Haarlem

Congrats Jesus--all that time at the gym is really starting to pay off!

Madonna with Chid and Saints

Madonna with Child and Saints
by Bonaventura Berlinghieri
First half of the 13th century
Uffizi gallery, Florence

Male. Pattern. Baldness.

Pala Sforzesca

Pala Sforzesca
By Master of Pala Sforzesca
about 1496-1497
Tempera on panel, 230 x 160 cm
Milan, Pinacoteca Brera

SQUISHY (to kneeling donor in blue): Dude, your hairstyle is totally unflattering!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Master of the Valencia Altarpiece
Panel
Sassari, Cathedral

Not only is the kid's head on sideways, but his ear is extremely large.....Mary's a looker though.

Nativity

Nativity
By Antonio da Tradate
@ 1510
Detail of a fresco in the Church of St. Ambrose, Canton Citino, Switzerland

MARY: I specifially remember the angel Gabriel telling me I was giving birth to the son of God. He did not say I would be having a pig-in-a-blanket!

Virgen de la Leche

Vergen de la Leche
By Pedro Berruguete
1465
Painting

Oh Mary you totally need to work on your aim!

Adoration of the Christ Child

Adoration of the Christ Child

By Sandro Botticelli

Painting on panel, 120.8 cm

Houston Museum of Fine Arts

And the award for most prolonged awkward pose goes to.......

Virgin and Child Enthroned with Saints

Virgin and Child Enthroned with Saints
By Marco d'Oggiono
1524
Oil on canvas, transferred from wood, 176 x 148 cm
Museo Diocesano, Milan

SQUISHY: Okay let play Rock Scissors Paper on the count of three. One...two...three!

ST. JEROME: Rock breaks scissors! Ha ha I won!

SQUISHY: No way man--it's cheating to use a real rock!

Nativity

Nativity

By Lorenzo Monaco

1405-10

Tempera on wood, gold ground, 22 x 31 cm

Metropolitan Museum of Art, New york

Dear Electric Light Up Jesus,

Does your sorta-daddy Joseph have a detachable head?

Just wondering,

M.A.

Dionisio Hogetria Virgin

Dionisio Hodegetria Virgin

1502

Painting on panel

All right Mary and Jesus, from now on you need to limit yourself to one tanning salon visit a month......

The Holy Family with St. John the Baptist

The Holy Family with St. John the Baptist
By Frans Floris
1546
Oil on panel, 40 x 31 1/2 "
Private collection

Listen closely and you can hear Jesus whisper to St. John "my friend, the buttless hairshirt and leaf head look is so not working for you."