Virgin Adoring the Christ Child

Virgin Adoring the Christ Child
Detail of an illuminated manuscript from the British Library

I'm thinking this is a type of medieval breath mint ad, where Squishy is all happy about the minty fresh rays projecting from the mouths of the ox and ass. 

Virgin of the Most Holy Rosary of Pomato

Virgin of the Most Holy Rosary of Pomato
By an anonymous artist of the Cuzco school
1700's
From the convent of Santa Catalina in Cuzco, Peru

Now hold on Mary, how can you just get away with stealing my prom dress straight out of my closet?

Presentation of Jesus in the Temple

Presentation of Jesus in the Temple
From the circle of Giovanni Bellini
1493
Oil on panel, 25.6 × 33.5"
Porczynski Gallery, Warsaw, Poland

Somewhere in Brooklyn there's a hipster just dying of jealousy about these dude's mustaches.

Virgin and Child on the Throne

Virgin and Child on the Throne
By Neri di Bicci
1400's
Tempera and gold leaf on wood, 421.26 x 217.72" 
Museu Nacional d'art de Catalunya, Bercelona, Spain

Oh my gawd Mary: that's an unflattering top!

Nativity

Nativity
By Parmigianino
1521-1522
Oil on canvas, 43.1 × 47.3 cm
Courtauld Gallery., London UK

I don't remember reading in the nativity story that the ox and ass actually lick Jesus and the attending angel.

Also, whoa Squishy Jesus Thunderthighs!

Nativity with Tree of Jesse

Nativity with Tree of Jesse

1360

Detail of an illumination in the Speculum Humanae Salvationis

Darmstadt Univerisity Library, Germany

Growing out of the guts of Jesse, the proud parents hold up their long-haired savior wasp.

Kakopetria Birth of Jesus

Kakopetria Birth of Jesus

By an unknown medieval painter in Cyprus

14th century

Fresco detail

Mary and Jesus are in the middle of some sort of hole in a giant cave.  You're gonna want to look closely at this, because climbing on the cave are tiny goats!!!

Then, lower right, enjoy a freaking awesome example of subliminal penis belly.

Nativity

Nativity
Detail of an illuminated manuscript from a Book of Hours in the Walterd Art Museum, Baltimore, USA

First nativity where at first I've mistaken Jesus for a mummy.

Saint Christopher Carrying the Christ Child

Saint Christopher Carrying the Christ Child
1250
Illumination from the Westminster Psalter, British Library

There's something sweet about this illumination, the way St. Christopher is looking at Squishy and Squishy is holding onto his turban.  But whoa that is a wicked case of male pattern baldness and why the frack does the Christ "child" have the torso of a broad-shouldered man?

Adoration of the Magi

Adoration of the Magi
By Roderigo and Francisco Osona
1490-1500
Oil on panel, 78 x 46 cm
Museo del Prado, Madrid, Spain

KING: Sniff.....ewwww kid: you need to start using odor eaters!

Virgin and Child with Predella

Virgin and Child with Predella
By Jacopo di Cione
Santa Croce, Florence, Italy

Girlfriend, that gold lamé gown is fierce!!!

Mystic Marriage of St. Catherine

Mystic Marriage of St. Catherine
By Antonis van Dyck
1630
The British Royal Collection, London, UK

The diet of young saviors these days, so full of trans-fats, high fructose corn syrup and bovine growth hormone, clearly are producing extreme cases of Early Savior Obesity.

Triptych of the Madonna della Misericordia

Triptych of the Madonna della Misericordia
By Jacobello del Fiore
1415
Galleria dell'Accademia, Florence

Gotta love Mary: she's wearing Jesus as a brooch pin and she's got a dress full of little people.  St.. Peter (on the right) is all What tha' crunk?!?!?!?!?