Madonna and Child between Sts Andrew and Prosper

Madonna and Child between Sts Andrew and Prosper (detail)
By Benozzo Gozzoli
1446 
Tempera on panel,  53.9 x 54.3"
Museo Civico, San Gimignano, Italy

It must be so much easier when you go to a conference in heaven: instead of wearing one of those sticky "Hello my name is" labels you can just have your name on your halo.

The Birth of Jesus

The Birth of Jesus
By Jan Baegert
Altarpiece

SQUISHY: Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears.

The Madonna and Child with the Infant St. John the Baptist

The Madonna and Child with the Infant St. John the Baptist
By an artist of the Bolognese School

[Sniff]   Hmmm.....smells like wheat and barley, of vines, figs, and pomegranates, and a hint of olive trees and honey.

Madonna and Child Enthroned with Angels

Madonna and Child Enthroned with Angels
By Giovanni di Tano Fei
1399
Detail of a triptych in the Ospedale Serristori di Figline Valdarno

Squishy can stand on one foot while searching in his moms shirt for a boobie: kid's got the skillz.

Madonna and Child with Saints Jerome and Francis

Madonna and Child with Saints Jerome and Francis
By Francesco Raibolini
1500
Oil on panel, transferred to canvas, re-transferred to panel
24-3/4 x 18-5/8"
The Norton Simon Foundation, Pasadena, CA

ST. JEROME AND MARY:  We're staring into the middle distance like a couple of zombies: weird, right?

ST. FRANCIS:  Squishy, I'm having a nice long look at your package and that is not circumcised.  I don't believe you're really Jewish.

SQUISHY: Bitch please, I'm practically inventing the contrapposto stance right here.  I'm changing the course of art history as we know it and I can do that with or without a foreskin.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
Detail of a fresco in St. Michael's Abbey, Val di Susa, Italy

Although I cannot confirm or deny whether Squishy is wearing nipple rings, I can confidently state that his chair, with it's toothbrush handle arms, is totally awesome.

The Virgin and Child with the Infant St John the Baptist and an Angel

The Virgin and Child with the Infant St John the Baptist and an Angel
By a follower of Lippi e Pesellino
1460-70
Tempera on panel,  41.3 × 41.3"
São Paulo Museum of Art, São Paulo, Brazil

Not naming any names here, but it appears certain people may be missing a chromosome or two.

Gifts of the Magi

Gifts of the Magi
Detail of a 15th century manuscript

Oh my, those are some alarmingly phallic gifts.

Miraculous Image of Madonna and Child

Miraculous Image of Madonna and Child
1830
Engraving
Rankweil, Vorarlberg, Austria

'Cause when you're wearing Mickey Mouse Club ears and matching his-n-hers pink cones surrounded by flying decapitated baby heads that is indeed a miraculous image.....

Madonna with Child

Madonna with Child
By Maestro della Croce
First half of the 13th century

Uh oh, looks like Mary and Squishy forgot to get their flu shots and caught that nasty bug that's going around.

Virgin and Child with the Infant John

Virgin and Child with the Infant John
Last quarter of the 16th century
Leaf of a manuscript
British Library

What a kitschy mess!  Did Jeff Koons paint this?

Circumcision

Circumcision
1st quarter of the 14th century
Detail from a North Italian choir book
The British Library

SQUISHY (to Rabbi): Whoa there, now hold on.  Weren't you supposed to do this when I was eight days old not when I'm applying for my driver's license?

The Mother of God of Korsun

Mother of God of Korsun

1800's

No, I don't see any resemblance either.

Nativity

Nativity

From Terce in the Hours of the Virgin

Illuminated Manuscript in the British Library

Squishy's new year's resolution is to practice alternative medicine, but I think he should take it a little bit easy on the accupunture.