The Genealogy of Christ

The Genealogy of Christ (detail)
By Hans Holbein

Ahh spring time!  The birds are chirping and the baby Jesus and dude-wearing-crowns flowers are in bloom.

The Virgin and Child

The Virgin and Child By a painter of the Netherlandish School
Oil on oak, 69.9 x 51.4 cm
The National Gallery, London

I don't want to read that stinky old book--I want to play with my soap bubble on a stick.  Yaaaaayyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Virgin and Child in Egypt

The Virgin and Child in Egypt
By William Blake
1810
Tempera on canvas, 76.5 x 63.5 cm
The Victoria and Albert Museum, London

Seriously William Blake? Maybe you should just have stuck with poetry....

The Madonna and Child with an Attendant Angel

The Madonna and Child with an Attendant Angel
By Gherardo di Giovanni (di Miniato) del Fora
Tempera on panel, diameter 61.5 cm
Private collection

Is that a baby hippo on Mary's lap?

Put down the cherries kid, you need to go on a diet, pronto!

Virgin and Child with St. Joseph

Virgin and Child with St. Joseph
By a follower of Joos van Cleve
1500-50
Oil on wood, 43.8 x 31.8 cm
Nottingham City Galleries and Museums, UK

JOSEPH to Squishy: Hey little guy, your dad's feeling sleepy too. Time for my nap time on the booby.

Nativity

Nativity
By Andrea de Litio
1460-40
Atri cathedral, Italy

Michelin man Squishy is relaxing on his vagina-shaped mandorla inside a manager from the school of dubious architectural perspective. Extra points if you spot the owl on the roof.

Rest on the Flight to Egypt

Rest on the Flight to Egypt
By Giulio Cesare Procaccin
1625
National Gallery of Denmark

Mommy, I'm five years old now. When can I start wearing pants?

The Coronation of Mary

The Coronation of Mary
By Luca Signorelli
1st quarter of 16th century
Oil on canvas
Castel san'Angelo, Rome

Riding on a pile of baby heads--this shit beats Six Flags any day!!!!!

Nativity

Nativity
By Domenico di Zanobi
Museo Casa Rodolfo Sivero, Florence, Italy

Squishy's legs are all bound up like two turkey drumsticks. No wonder Joseph is depressed....

Our Lady of Pilerio

Our Lady of Pilerio

1100's

A rare trifecta: subliminal penis belly, convenient tit and male pattern baldness.

St. Anna Metterza

St. Anna Metterza
Unknown painter
1450
Fresco in the Oratorio di San Lorenzo all’Alpe Seccio, Boccioleto, Vercelli, Italy

Grandma Anna, Mommy Mary, Baby Squishy: you know, I think I see a family resemblance....

The Adoration of the Magi

The Adoration of the Magi
By Pietro Lorenzetti
1340
Painting on wood, 13" x 9.4"
Louvre Museum, Paris

Kissy foot or toe suck?