Birth of Jesus

Birth of Jesus
1800's
Painting on glass

And she gave birth to her firstborn CARROT; and she wrapped Him in cloths, and laid Him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By Jan Gossaert
1525
Private collection

For anyone who has ever wondered why I refer to the baby Jesus as Squishy: exhibit A.

Madonna and Child, St. Joseph and St. Catherine of Siena

Madonna and Child, St. Joseph and St. Catherine of Siena 
By Bartolomeo Neroni
Oil on wood cm. 60 x 90 cm

Look at those muscles--Squishy's been hitting the gym.  Thighs like that bring all the boys to the yard.

St. Anne with Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus

St. Anne with Virgin Mary and Baby Jesus
By Hans Memling
1430
Oil on oak
Bruges, Belgium

I know you've been waiting for it all year: Jesus sitting on Mary who in turn sits on Saint Anne.  It's a Squishy Jesus Turduckden!

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!!!!

Holy Family Saying Grace

Holy Family Saying Grace
Anonymous South German painter
18th or 19th century
Oil on canvas, 42 × 44 cm

Another teenage Squishy?!?!?  This one is ready to star in a Mozart opera.  

Look above the ho hum dinner scene, and dad/God is busting out like a heavy metal superstar with a triangle halo.  Rock on people!

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By Hans Burgmair
1509
Oil on wood
Augsburg, Germany

Holy Infant of the Nutcracker Legs.

Madonna di Campagna

Madonna di Campagna
1400's
Fresco in the church of the Madonna di Campagna, Pallanza, Italy

This is total album cover art. If there's a band out there that's righteous enough for a Madonna Nursing Child with Shoulder Boob cover I'm buying that album.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Meister des Fröndenberger
c. 1400
Detail of a wood altarpiece, 67 × 45 cm
Ostwall Museum, Dortmund, Germany

SQUISHY (to Mary):  This red necklace is too awesome, can I have it?   Oh come on mom, hook-a-brotha-up!

Flight into Egypt

Flight into Egypt
By Juan de Borgona
1500

Can you believe this: a 2000 year old example of child labor?!?!  And to top it off, they make Jesus pick olives while balancing a halo on the back of his head.  Egregious!

The Holy Family

The Holy Family
By Savinien Petit
1859
Oil on panel
Musée de Chaumont, Chaumont, France

SQUISHY: No where in this book does it say that I have to hang out bareass naked in a contrapposto position.  It's November 9th--for the love of God, can't I just put on a pair of pants?

Madonna and Child with the Young St. John the Baptist

Madonna and Child with the Young St. John the Baptist
By Ridolfo Ghirlandaio
1503-57
Oil on panel, 30.7 x 25.9"
Walters Art Museum, Baltimore, MA

SQUISHY: Yesterday people in the USA re-elected Barack Obama to a second term, voted to approve same-sex marriage in Maryland and Maine, and elected the first openly gay senator. 

ST. JOHN:  Someone pinch me!  Just like my golden curls, this seems just too good to be real!

Adoration of the Shepherds

Adoration of the Shepherds (detail)
By Guido Reni
1630-1642
Oil on canvas
Museo di San Martino, Naples, Italy

Remember, daylight savings time begins tonight.  Don't forget to set your Light Up Squishy Jesus back an hour before you go to bed!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Bernardo Bitti
1575
Possibly a copy of the original

You know, my cat woke me up by barfing up a hairball at 4:30 in the morning, and I was having a crappy day....until I saw this painting.  Day = made.