The Infant Jesus of the Blessing Hands

The Infant Jesus of the Blessing Hands
By Pinturicchio
1492-93
Detail of a fresco
Perugia, Italy

Looking hawt, Mr. Squishy J. Huge Forehead!

Madonna and Child, St. John, Two Angels and a Lamb

Madonna and Child, St. John, Two Angels and a Lamb
By Maestro di Ercole e Girolamo Visconti
1500-24
Detached fresco on canvas
Museo Nazionale della Scienza e della Tecnologia, Milan, Italy

Damn, I feel sorry for that lamb....

Madonna Adoring the Christ Child

Madonna Adoring the Christ Child
By Pietro Da Vicenza
1490
Oil on panel, 26.8 x 18.1"
Private Collection

Horizontal martial arts?

Nativity

Nativity
Detail of an illuminated manuscript
Book of hours in Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, Yale University, New Haven, USA

MARY:  I gave birth to that!?!!??!?!?!  How did that thing even fit in my stomach?

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Ambrosius Benson
1495
Oil on canvas in period frame. 65 x 50 cm
Palermo, Italy

That awkward moment when you realize your baby is actually a middle-aged man....

Maria Lactans

Maria Lactans
By an unknown Flemish artist
Tempera on oak, diameter: 29.5 cm

Squishy doesn't seem like he's looking to this boob for nourishment--it's more like he's getting hypnotized.  You are getting sleepy...

Enthroned Madonna and Christ Child with Angels, Saints Paula and Agatha

Enthroned Madonna and Christ Child with Angels, Saints Paula and Agatha

By Michele Campanti

@ 1500

Tempera on panel,  55.75 × 43.12"

Birmingham Museum of Art, Birmingham, USA

Apparently, when Saint Agatha adores Squishy, she does it while holding her severed breast.

 

Marienalter

Marienalter
Detail of an altarpiece, St. Martin Parish, Oberstadion, Germany

Oooo-kayyy, so Mary had Squishy and tucked him into her top.  And then she became...Octomom?!?!?!

Holy Family with St. John

Holy Family with St. John
By Bartolomeo Schedoni
1610
The Ashmolean Museum, Oxford, UK

Fifty Shades of Gray: OMG it's so dirty!

Madonna and Child with Angels

Madonna and Child with Angels
By Lorenzo di Bici
1405-10
Fine Art Museum of San Francisco

Yep, in fact Squishy does have his hand down Mary's shirt....

The Mystic Marriage of Saint Catherine of Alexandria and Saint Catherine of Siena

The Mystic Marriage of Saint Catherine of Alexandria and Saint Catherine of Siena
By Ambrogio Bergognone
1490
Oil on poplar wood, 73.8 × 51"
National Gallery, London, UK

Wait a sec: Squishy is marrying Saint Catherine of Alexandria and Saint Catherine of Siena at the same time?  I always thought the little guy was Jewish, not Mormon.

Holy Family

Holy Family
by Andrea del Sarto
1520
Oil on panel,  50.8 x 43.1"
Pitti Palace, Florence, Italy

SQUISHY:  Excuse me, St. John, could you back up a little?  Your penis is right behind my head.

The Adoration of the Magi

The Adoration of the Magi
Cuzco School of Painting.
1740-60

If you don't want to wear a gown covered in gold blobs in this painting you've got to be either a naked baby or a dorky camel.

I'm dying to ask the kneeling king what's so fascinating about Squishy's knee.