Madonna in Glory with Seraphim

Madonna in Glory with Seraphim
By Alessandro Botticelli
1469-70
Uffizi galleries, Florence, Italy

Face of a baby....body of an obese 40 year old woman in see-though lingerie.

Birth of Christ

Birth of Christ
By Geburt Christi
1480
Swiss National Museum, Zurich

I'm retitling this The 70's Craft Birth of Jesus. Check out Squishy's wild macramé crib! And the manger is totally pot latch! And didn't everyone have that background wallpaper in their bathroom in the 70's?

If you look really, really close I bet there's a beer can hat somewhere in this painting....

St. Christopher and the Christ Child

St. Christopher and the Christ Child
1486
Illumination from the Waldburg-Gebetbuch Prayer Book

ST.  CHRISTOPHER: Could you please move your junk a little farther from my nose?

SQUISHY: Oh shut up already--I don't take orders from a guy who carries a tree everywhere.

The Holy Family

The Holy Family
1800's
Painting on glass, 38 x 30.5 cm

Jesus, Mary and Joseph: easy on the blush, okay?

The Virgin and Child with Saint Joseph

The Virgin and Child with Saint Joseph
After Joos van Cleve

JOSEPH:  Now hold on a minute: he gets the boob and I get the apple?  That's not fair!!!!!

Adoration of the Child

Adoration of the Child
By Jacquelin de Montlucon
1496-97
Museum of Fine Arts, Lyon, France

SQUISHY: OUCH!  One of those radiance spears is poking me on my pee pee!!

OX AND ASS:  This shiz is better than cable!

Virgin with Child Surrounded By Angels

Virgin with Child Surrounded by Angels
By Quentin Matsys
1509
Museum of Fine Arts, Lyon, France

Introducing the Crystal Gayle of Madonnas.....

Madonna Benson

Madonna Benson
By Fra Diamante
Private collection

Well if the whole saving mankind from sin thing doesn't work out, Squishy can always have a career as a sumo wrestler....

Madonna and Child Enthroned with Angels

Madonna and Child Enthroned with Angels
By workshop of Bernardino Luini
between 1550 and 1600
Oil on poplar wood,  96.7 × 54."
Brooklyn Museum, Brooklyn USA

SQUISHY: People, I am The Savior: Lollapalooza comes to me.

Nativity

Nativity
By Michele Tosini
1500's

SQUISHY: Could you please stop adoring me for a few minutes and let me get some sleep?  I had a really late night at Bar Bethlehem.

Madonna and Child Holding a Pear

Madonna and Child Holding a Pear
By Flemish Master
First half of the 16th century
Oil on panel
Wilanów Palace Museum, Warsaw, Poland

I don't know about you, but when I think "Madonna and Child" I always think "muscle-bound nude Jesus with double-chin balancing on one foot and his mom's boob while holding a pear."

The Holy Family with and Angel

The Holy Family with an Angel
By Baldassare Carrari
1485
Oil on panel, 28 1/4 x 18 7/8"
 Walters Art Museum, Baltimore, Maryland, USA

Hillbilly Joseph!

Madonna Nursing the Child

Madonna Nursing the Child
By Vincenzo Foppa
1500-10
Painting on wood, 48.3 x 33.8
Philadelphia Museum of Art, Philadelphia USA

Yeah Squishy, I know, the red hair dye seemed like a good idea at the time.

The Holy Family at the Table

The Holy Family at the Table
By Circle of Georges de la Tour
1620
Oil on canvas, 45.5 × 37.6"
Basilica of St. Philip Neri, Studzianna

Were there bedzazzlers in 1620?  Because someone in the circle of Geoges de la Tour bedazzled the living bajeezuz out of this painting.