Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
c. 1500
Illuminated manuscript
Collection of the New York Public Library

Talk about product placement: Mary and Jesus are wearing matching Snuggies!

St. Anne, the Virgin and Christ

St. Anne, the Virgin and Christ
By Simon Bening
1532 Illuminated Manuscript

MARY: Mom! If I've told you once, I've told you 1000 times. MY HEAD IS NOT A LAP DESK!!!!!

Our Lady of the Victory of Málaga

Our Lady of the Victory of Málaga
by Luis Niño
about 1740
Denver Art Museum, Denver, USA

Dude looks like a lady.

Madonna and Child Nativity

Madonna and Child Nativity
12 th century
Mosaic
Detail of the Nativity from the ceiling of the Martorana, Palermo, Sicily

ASS TO OX: So do you think we should tell Mary we have a case of mistaken identity here?

OX TO ASS: Heck no! Who would want to hear that their child was switched with baby Frankenstein?

Madonna of Gravedona

Madonna of Gravedona
c. 1500
Detail of a fresco in the Church of Santa Maria delle Grazie, Gravesend, Italy

Oh, don't worry your pretty little orange afro head Squishy J--mommy's gonna beat off that scary devil with a stick!

Nativity and Annunciation to the Shepherds

Nativity and Annunciation to the Shepherds
11th century
Manuscript Illumination from the Bamburg Apocalypse

Let me just state the obvious: THIS IS NOT A BABY. Yeah, it was the 11th century and all, but how did they screw up enough to put a damn teenager in the manger?!

Confidential to the ass, love love love the long ears.

Nativity

Nativity

15th Century

Detail of a stained glass window in East Brent, Somerset, UK

Dude's got a cool basket and all, but what's with the looonnnng arm?

Madonna and Child with St. John

Madonna and Child with St. John

Detail of a fresco in St. Michael's Abbey, Val de Susa, Italy

........sorry..can't write now.............(cough).........laughing too hard.................................

St. Anthony of Padau

St. Anthony of Padua
By Ambrosius Benson
Painting detail from a triptych
From the Segovia Cathedral, Segovia, Spain

C'mon Ambrosius Benson, this is a baby not a lap dog. St. Anthony should so totally not be carrying him around like Paris Hilton's chihuahua.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Illumination
From the Lehman Collection, The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Confidential to Mary and S.J.: you ever thought about using a self -tanner or maybe just a touch of bronzer? Just sayin'.............