Nativity

Nativity
By Antonio da Tradate
@ 1510
Detail of a fresco in the Church of St. Ambrose, Canton Citino, Switzerland

MARY: I specifially remember the angel Gabriel telling me I was giving birth to the son of God. He did not say I would be having a pig-in-a-blanket!

Virgen de la Leche

Vergen de la Leche
By Pedro Berruguete
1465
Painting

Oh Mary you totally need to work on your aim!

Adoration of the Christ Child

Adoration of the Christ Child

By Sandro Botticelli

Painting on panel, 120.8 cm

Houston Museum of Fine Arts

And the award for most prolonged awkward pose goes to.......

Virgin and Child Enthroned with Saints

Virgin and Child Enthroned with Saints
By Marco d'Oggiono
1524
Oil on canvas, transferred from wood, 176 x 148 cm
Museo Diocesano, Milan

SQUISHY: Okay let play Rock Scissors Paper on the count of three. One...two...three!

ST. JEROME: Rock breaks scissors! Ha ha I won!

SQUISHY: No way man--it's cheating to use a real rock!

Nativity

Nativity

By Lorenzo Monaco

1405-10

Tempera on wood, gold ground, 22 x 31 cm

Metropolitan Museum of Art, New york

Dear Electric Light Up Jesus,

Does your sorta-daddy Joseph have a detachable head?

Just wondering,

M.A.

Dionisio Hogetria Virgin

Dionisio Hodegetria Virgin

1502

Painting on panel

All right Mary and Jesus, from now on you need to limit yourself to one tanning salon visit a month......

The Holy Family with St. John the Baptist

The Holy Family with St. John the Baptist
By Frans Floris
1546
Oil on panel, 40 x 31 1/2 "
Private collection

Listen closely and you can hear Jesus whisper to St. John "my friend, the buttless hairshirt and leaf head look is so not working for you."