The Virgin Odegetria

The Virgin Odegetria
15th century
Egg tempera on lime wood, 91.5 x 77.5
From St. Demetrius' Church in the village of Krasiv, Lviv region, Lviv National Museum

Finally, definitive proof that aliens exist........or at least they did in the 15th century.

Nativity

Nativity
By the Master of Avila
1474-76
Museo Lazaro Galdiano, Madrid








Also known as The Levitating Nativity.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By Boccaccio Boccaccino
Painting
Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Oh dear Squishy you're looking a bit too *cough* excited *cough* *cough* to be petting the little birdy.

Nativity

Nativity
By Berruguete
Altar painting
From the church of St. Eulalia in Paredes de Nava, Tierra de Campos, Spain

Now just for moment I want you all to stop with your adoring and singing and lute playing and give the poor skinny Jesus something to eat.

Sheeesh!

Circumcision of Christ

Circumcision of Christ
By Girolamo Alibrandi
Painting on panel
Museo Regionale di Messina

Note to Rabbi Big Beard:

The tossing of a Messiah is strictly forbidden.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Detail of a mosaic in Santa Maria in Trastevere, Rome

Hey guys, can I get you the name of a good eyebrow waxer? Just sayin'.

Infants Jesus and Saint John

Infants Jesus and Saint John
By Josep Vergara
Painting
Museo de Bellas Artes de Valencia, Spain


Here's a close up of the letter Squishy Jesus is dictating to his baby assistant:

Dear Josep Vergara,

Dude, we are supposed to be infants. Why do we look like middle aged geometry teachers who need to cut back on the brewskies? Why are we seated on a cloud? And, btw, there's a vicious bird hanging out under Squishy's foot.

WTF?

xxxxoooo John & Squishy

Holy Virgin Pelagonitissa

Holy Virgin Pelagonitissa
1421-22
From Church of the Transfiguration, Zrze Monastery, Prilep.
Museum of Macedonia, Skopje, Macedonia

Holy trifecta of awesomeness: Squishy's head is on sideways, he has a giant forehead, and OMFG, HE'S WEARING LEDERHOSEN!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Mabuse
Painting on panel

MARY: My breast is in a normal location - alert the media!

SQUISHY: Check out my mullet. Woot! Party's in the back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!