Notre Dame de New York

Notre Dame de New York
By Fernando Botero
1966

Yeah , that's right: MARY HAS A PUMPKIN ON HER HEAD!!!!  Happy halloween people. 

Nativity

Nativity
Detail of a miniature from the prefatory cycle of the Nativity, Oxford England

Mary, I have to hand it to you, if anyone has mastered the art of armpit-boob breast feeding it's you.  Also, that cobalt blue blanket is stunning!

Madonna with Child

Madonna with Child
By Taddeo di Bartolo

Mother and son: they share the same lovely Sienese eyes, and unfortunately, an addiction to neon pink blush.

Enthroned Madonna and Child with Saints Jerome and Petronio

Enthroned Madonna and Child with Saints Jerome and Petronio (detail)
By Lianori Pietro
1453
tempera on panel, 172.6 x 220 cm
From the sacristy of San Girolamo di Miramonte, Bologna, Italy

It's obvious what we have here is a classic case of subliminal penis belly.  What's not so obvious:  why are Squishy's toes so long?  And what's going on with Mary's neck?? 

Madonna and Child with St. Anne

Madonna and Child with St. Anne (detail)
By Defendente Ferrari
1528
 Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Squishy, those fishnets are da bomb diggity!!!!

Holy Family with St. John

Holy Family with St. John
By Maso da San Friano

ST. JOHN: The federal appeals court just ruled against the Defense of Marriage Act! 

SQUISHY: Buh bye, lame, discriminating DOMA.  Don't let the constitution hit you on the ass on your way out!!!!

The Mystic Marriage of St Catherine

The Mystic Marriage of St Catherine
c. 1516
Oil and tempera on limewood, 68 x 47 cm
Szépmûvészeti Múzeum, Budapest

I've got hoes.
I've got hoes, in different area codes.

I've got binders full of women.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By Jan Mabuse
Museum of Vienna, Austria

SQUISHY: I believe I can fly.  I believe I can touch the sky.

MARY: (Squeezing Squishy's boob).  Almost a C cup!!!!

Madonna with Child

Madonna with Child
By Giovanni Francesco Caroto
1508-10

Squishy, dude, cut down on the twinkies: you're starting to look like a member of Generation XL....

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Wilm Dedeke
1500
St. Anne's Museum,  Lübeck, Germany

Squishy is all p'od about his disproportionately long abdomen so he's going rip that poor flower to shreds.

Midwives Giving Christ His First Bath

Midwives Giving Christ his First Bath
1100
Detail of a mosaic in the Daphni Monastery in Greece

Kiddie pool inside an outdoor grill?

Adoration of the Shepherds

Adoration of the Shepherds
By Jacopo Bassano
1544-45
Oil on canvas, 54 7/8 x 86 1/8"

Ho hum, another boring adoration of the shepherds, but lordy, THE ASS on that shepherd in the blue shorts!!!  I'd tap that any time, any place, even in a manger.

Virgin with Child with Four Saints

Virgin with Child with Four Saints
By Francesco Bonsignori
1490-1510
The National Gallery, London, UK

Awwwwww...adorkable!

The Infant Jesus of the Blessing Hands

The Infant Jesus of the Blessing Hands
By Pinturicchio
1492-93
Detail of a fresco
Perugia, Italy

Looking hawt, Mr. Squishy J. Huge Forehead!

Madonna and Child, St. John, Two Angels and a Lamb

Madonna and Child, St. John, Two Angels and a Lamb
By Maestro di Ercole e Girolamo Visconti
1500-24
Detached fresco on canvas
Museo Nazionale della Scienza e della Tecnologia, Milan, Italy

Damn, I feel sorry for that lamb....

Madonna Adoring the Christ Child

Madonna Adoring the Christ Child
By Pietro Da Vicenza
1490
Oil on panel, 26.8 x 18.1"
Private Collection

Horizontal martial arts?

Nativity

Nativity
Detail of an illuminated manuscript
Book of hours in Beinecke Rare Book and Manuscript Library, Yale University, New Haven, USA

MARY:  I gave birth to that!?!!??!?!?!  How did that thing even fit in my stomach?

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Ambrosius Benson
1495
Oil on canvas in period frame. 65 x 50 cm
Palermo, Italy

That awkward moment when you realize your baby is actually a middle-aged man....

Maria Lactans

Maria Lactans
By an unknown Flemish artist
Tempera on oak, diameter: 29.5 cm

Squishy doesn't seem like he's looking to this boob for nourishment--it's more like he's getting hypnotized.  You are getting sleepy...

Enthroned Madonna and Christ Child with Angels, Saints Paula and Agatha

Enthroned Madonna and Christ Child with Angels, Saints Paula and Agatha

By Michele Campanti

@ 1500

Tempera on panel,  55.75 × 43.12"

Birmingham Museum of Art, Birmingham, USA

Apparently, when Saint Agatha adores Squishy, she does it while holding her severed breast.