By Bernardo Strozzi
1600's
Oratorio of Saints Sebastian and Rocco, Campo Ligure, Italy
Remember that one time you thought you were in bible story, but only later realized you were in a circus act?
Monday, November 17, 2014
St. Christopher
By Bernardo Strozzi
1600's
Oratorio of Saints Sebastian and Rocco, Campo Ligure, Italy
Remember that one time you thought you were in bible story, but only later realized you were in a circus act?
Monday, November 10, 2014
The Virgin Mary and the Infant Christ Wrapped in Swaddling
Monday, November 3, 2014
Sunday, October 26, 2014
The Trinities of Earth and Sky
By Andrés López
Oil on copper
13.07 x 14.17"
National Museum of Art, Mexico City, Mexico
Baby Jesus is holding a picture of adult Jesus surrounded by three other man-sized Jesus'--this painting is so postmodern. Rosalind Krauss probably wrote an article about it.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
Blessing Child
Detail of a fresco in apse of the Church of St. Lorenzo, Casteldilago, Italy
A rare shot from the really early days of the Mickey Mouse Club.
Friday, October 17, 2014
Infant Christ
By an unknown Polish artist
c. 1480
Tempera and gold on panel
National Museum in Warsaw, Poland
Okay, so this is a pretty fascinating depiction of a medieval baby walker, but no one's going to convince me that the rubbery worm-person pushing it is baby Jesus, or any sort of human baby at all.....
Thursday, October 9, 2014
Infant Christ Slaying the Dragon
16th century
Detail of Codex Vindobonensis Palatinu
Illumination
Squishy Jesus the Dragon Slayer: my new favorite sitcom!
Tuesday, September 30, 2014
Virgin and Child
By an unknown Russian artist
Late 17th - early 18th century
Tempera, silver and cloth on wood
32 х 2.5 х 4.3 cm
The Novodevichy Convent, Moscow, Russia
Leave it to the ever-chic Virgin Mary to wear a bottle opener as a bonnet.
Friday, September 26, 2014
The Infant Christ on the Orb of the World
By Joos van Cleve
1530
14.6 × 10.2"
Thyssen-Bornemisza Museum, Madrid, Spain
So yeah people, I can hold a contrapposto stance while balancing on a glass bowl because I'm not just the baby Jesus, I'm the mother-flippen savior of art history.
Tuesday, September 23, 2014
Virgin Mary Nursing the Infant Christ
Central tympanum sculpture
Duomo di San Rufino, Assisi, Italy
Well, I don't know about you but I'd gladly attend any church with a sculpture over the door of the baby Jesus blowing up a boob-balloon from the center of Mary's chest....
Wednesday, September 17, 2014
The Virgin Hushing the Young Baptist
By William Blake
27 x 38.2 cm
Now St. Johnny, how many times do I have to warn you? Stop being such a creeper!
Thursday, September 11, 2014
Saturday, September 6, 2014
Infant Christ and Winged Angels under an Archway
By Ernst Ewald
Q: How many winged baby angels does it take to carry a catatonic looking Christ child?
A: Three: two to carry him, and one to ring a bell in front.
Monday, September 1, 2014
Madonna and Child Enthroned with Angels and Saints
Madonna and Child Enthroned with Angles and Saints
By Fillipo Lippi
c. 1430
Tempera on panel,
43.7 × 34.3 cm
Museo della collegiata di Sant'Andrea, Empoli, Italy
ANGEL (kneeling in front of Mary and Squishy): Who's a cute squishy baby? Who? Oh just wook at his widdle pink onesie!! I just want to squeeeeeze his widdle fat cheeks!!!!!"
JOSEPH: Bitch please, this baby talk is getting old.
Wednesday, August 27, 2014
Thursday, August 21, 2014
Virgin and Child
By Neri di Bicci
1466-68
Tempera on wood
Musée d'art et d'histoire de Genève, Geneva, Switzerland
Kid is soooooo stoned.
Sunday, August 17, 2014
Madonna and Child with Angels
By Gentile da Fabriano
1410
The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York, USA
SQUISHY: Mom mom mom--the neighbor's dog pooped on the lawn again and they didn't pick it up!!!!
MARY: No honey, that's not dog poop: those are little brown angels.
Monday, August 11, 2014
Virgin and Child
Ivory
Museum Treasure of Aachen, Aachen, Germany
You know, I think I there's a bit of family resemblance going on here....
Thursday, August 7, 2014
Maria Bründl
By Johann Philipp Ruckerbauer
1714
Detail of an altar painting in Maria Bründl church, Poysdorf, Austria
Don't you just hate it when you're photo-bombed by a praying Statue of Liberty?
Friday, August 1, 2014
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