Mystic Marriage of St. Catherine

Mystic Marriage of St. Catherine
From the school of Lorenzo di Credi
First half of 16th century
Oil on panel, 60 cm in diameter
Musee des Beaux-Arts des Nimes, Nimes, France

Marriage equality: it applies to obese infant saviors too.

Our Lady of the Expectation Appearing to Simon de Roja

Our Lady of the Expectation Appearing to Simon de Roja
By Francisco Rizi
c. 1654
Pen and brown ink, brown and gray wash on paper, 196 x 125 mm
 British Museum, London, UK

If in doubt, accessorize with an embryo.
 

The Infant Christ and St John

The Infant Christ and St John
By Lucas Cranach the elder
c. 1515 - 1520
Oil on oak, 11.4 × 7.5"
Lower Saxony State Museum, Hanover, Germany

Hummel figurines wearing transparent lingerie?  Check.

St. Anne with Virgin and Child

St. Anne with Virgin and Child
By a follower of Martino Spanzotti
1400's
Favria, Italy

A sweet picture for Mother's Day: Mary on Granny Annie's lap with Squishy J. emerging from a giant c-section on Mary's belly.

Holy Family

Holy Family
By Pieter Coecke van Aelst

SQUISHY: Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaay Miss Thing needs her an upside down pear!

Our Lady Protectress

Our Lady Protectress
Second half of 13th century
Collection of S. Ryabushinsky

 The "Recovering from a Cold" Virgin and Child.
 

Mary and Baby Jesus

Mary and Baby Jesus
17th century
Painting from the choir of Sankta Maria Kyrka in Åhus, Sweden

See, when you're holy and touch heads with another holy person, your heads give off sparks.

Holy Family

Holy Family
By Santi di Tito
1564

Lamb hugs, not drugs.

Bath of the Child

Bath of the Child
15th century
Detail of a fresco from the church of Panagia, Amasgou, Monagri, Cyprus

SQUISHY:  Brrrrrrrrr...that spaghetti water looks cold!

Virgin Adoring the Sleeping Baby Jesus

Virgin Adoring the Sleeping Baby Jesus
By Elisabetta Sirani
17th century
Oil on canvas
Museu Nacional de Belas Artes, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil

My blood runs cold
My memory has just been sold
My Squishy is the centerfold
Squishy is the centerfold

Madonna, Child and Infant Baptist

Madonna, Child and Infant Baptist
By Fra Bartolommeo
1497
Oil and gold on wood, 58.4 x 43.8 cm
Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

Infant Christ of the Constipation Face.

Adoration of the Child

Adoration of the Child (detail)
By Valentin Wolgemut
c. 1455
Tempera and gold on wood, 64.2 × 50.4 × 18"
National Museum in Warsaw, Warsaw, Poland

SQUISHY: Uh, hey, guys.  I know it's Easter but I don't actually ascend to heaven for another 32 years.  So, you know, don't be doing the blanket toss quite yet, okay?

Theotokos and Child

Theotokos and Child
19th century
Wood, gesso and tempera, 66.4 × 51.3 cm  
Yaroslavl Art Museum, Yaroslavl, Russia

I've had pretty bad insomnia lately, and this is more or less what I look like when I get up in the morning these days.

Our Lady of Help

Our Lady of Help
Unknown artist of Florentine school
1500's
Fresco detail

SQUISHY: When creepy devils try to grab my ass, my mom beats them off with a club.  Coolest.  Mom.  Ever.

Mary and Baby Jesus

Mary and Baby Jesus
c. 1850
Reverse painting on glass, 45 x 34.6 cm

GOOMBAH Christ child with--bonus--mini mullet!

Madonna with a Chair

Madonna with a Chair
By Guido Reni
1624 - 1625
Oil on canvas, 84.2 × 54"
Prado Museum, Madrid, Spain

SQUISHY: This art history racket is soooooo lame: I have to stand around in contrapposto stance all stinken' day while holding this strip of fabric over my privates.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By an unknown Russian painter
Fort Ross Chapel, Jenner, CA USA

Awwww--add some whiskers and they could be a pair of mice!

Baby Jesus and St. Anthony of Padua

Baby Jesus and St. Anthony of Padua
By Elisabetta Sirani
1656
Private collection

Damn gurl, you fiiiiiine!

Theotokos of Tolga

Theotokos of Tolga
Detail of an icon
End of 13th century

Squishy stretch neck 4evah.

Virgin Mary and Child

 

Virgin Mary and Child
Cathedral of Pamplona, Pamplona, Spain

People act like Lady Gaga is such a fashion innovator---but she's not all that: Virgin Mary was so much weirder back in the day.  She'd wrap her head in a metal doily just to burp the baby......