Madonna with the Serpent

Madonna with the Serpent
By Caravaggio
1606
Oil on canvas, 115 x 83.1"
Galleria Borgehese, Rome, Italy

Forget about the part where he saves mankind from sin, little boy Squishy saves his mom and granny from a snake!  You'd think for that someone would at least give him a pair of pants....

Flight into Egypt

Flight into Egypt
1360
Detail of the Darmstadt Speculum Humanae Salvationis

Happy Halloween.  No way you're going to see anything half this freaky tonight.

Adoration of the Shepherds

Adoration of the Shepherds
By Luis de Morales
Between 1570 and 1575
Oil on panel, 100 x 167 cm 
Prado Museum, Madrid, Spain

LOOK OUT SQUISHY: the gym-body-but-really-rustic-outfit shepherd is just about to snatch you out of mom's arms!

Adoration of the Magi

Adoration of the Magi
1446
Illumination from The Missal of Eberhard von Greiffenklau
Walters Art Museum, Baltimore, USA

SQUISHY:  Frankincense...blah blah, myrrh...blah blah.  One of you bitches better bring me a Pumpkin Spice Latte!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Francesco Squarcione
National Museum of Art, Romania

The return of the Pilates Squishy!

Our Lady with the Child Jesus

Our Lady with the Child Jesus
By Giusto de ' Menabuoi
Diocesan Museum, Padua, Italy

Help Squishy decide: should he go as a mummy or the Bride of Frankenstein for Halloween?

Holy Family

Holy Family
By William-Adolphe Bouguereau
1863

Extra points to those of you who spotted the phallic (flaccid) object in Mary's basket.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Bernadino Fungai
Pinacoteca Nazionale di Siena, Siena, Italy

Um, Mary...shouldn't you be concerned about the golf tees sticking out of your son's head?

Holy Family

Holy Family
From the Winderhalder Workshop
First half of the 19th century
Painting on glass, 38 x 30.5 cm
Rötenbach, Germany

I never thought I'd take makeup advice from the Holy Family, but Jesus, Mary and Joseph--what is that lipstick you're wearing?                                                    

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By Barnaba da Modena
Circa 1365-70 
The Courtauld Gallery, London, UK

Insomnia or hangover?

Virgin of Consolation

Virgin of Consolation
By William-Adolphe Bouguereau
1875
Oil on canvas, 80 1/4 x 58 1/4 "
Les Musées de la Ville de Strasbourg, Strasbourg, France

SQUISHY: I swoon!

MARY: Oh my son!

ST. ANNE:  Lordy what a couple of drama llamas!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Jacobello Antonello
1480
Oil on wood panel, 67 x 45 cm
Accademia Carrara, Bergamo, Italy

Oh Squishy--don't you know the Caesar haircut hasn't been hot since the 90's?

The Virgin and Child with the Parrot

The Virgin and Child with the Parrot
By Fernando Gallego
Louvre Museum, Paris, France

World's laziest painter, that Fernando Gallego: painted the same dang face on the angel, Mary and Squishy.

Adoration of the Magi

Adoration of the Magi
By Bernardino Butinone
Between 1485 and 1495
Tempera on panel, 9.8 × 8.5"

What with all the fabulously dressed Magi and foot kissing going on, you can hardly notice the tiny kitty under Squishy and Mary's chair.  Or is it a bunny?

Nativity of Christ

 

 Nativity of Christ

 By Simone dei Crocifissi

1380

Tempera on wood, 47x25 cm

Uffizi Gallery, Florence, Italy

ANGEL (upper right, in red): So my lower body is supposed to be a cloud, but I wonder if that shepherd down there thinks he's looking up my tutu?  Oh hey there!

SHEPHERD: Hey girl!

OX: FOR THE LOVE OF YAHWEH TAKE THIS ROPE OFF MY NECK!!!!!!!!

The Virgin and Child with the Venerable Brother Francisco del Niño Jesús Blessing a Youth

The Virgin and Child with the Venerable Brother Francisco del Niño Jesús Blessing a Youth
By Juan Sariñena
1607
Real Colegio Seminario del Corpus Christi, Valencia, Spain

Mother and son: killing it with the eyebrow pencil.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Simon Vouet

Christ child or flotation device?

St. Anne, Mary and Christ Child

St. Anne, Mary and Christ Child

16th Century

AKA The Didn't I See you in National Geographic? Holy Family

Holy Family

Holy Family
By Marcello Venusti
1565
National Gallery, London, UK

SQUISHY: Imma be real real with ya'll: it's too damn early for this Holy Bible bizness.

Adoration of the Magi

Adoration of the Magi

12th century, third quarter  

English Psalter on parchment

Exhibit A on how medieval art never fails to entertain.  Do you dig the three surprised Kings?  Did you notice the subliminal boobs formed by the pink towers on top?