Madonna di Campagna

Madonna di Campagna
1400's
Fresco in the church of the Madonna di Campagna, Pallanza, Italy

This is total album cover art. If there's a band out there that's righteous enough for a Madonna Nursing Child with Shoulder Boob cover I'm buying that album.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Meister des Fröndenberger
c. 1400
Detail of a wood altarpiece, 67 × 45 cm
Ostwall Museum, Dortmund, Germany

SQUISHY (to Mary):  This red necklace is too awesome, can I have it?   Oh come on mom, hook-a-brotha-up!

Flight into Egypt

Flight into Egypt
By Juan de Borgona
1500

Can you believe this: a 2000 year old example of child labor?!?!  And to top it off, they make Jesus pick olives while balancing a halo on the back of his head.  Egregious!

The Holy Family

The Holy Family
By Savinien Petit
1859
Oil on panel
Musée de Chaumont, Chaumont, France

SQUISHY: No where in this book does it say that I have to hang out bareass naked in a contrapposto position.  It's November 9th--for the love of God, can't I just put on a pair of pants?

Madonna and Child with the Young St. John the Baptist

Madonna and Child with the Young St. John the Baptist
By Ridolfo Ghirlandaio
1503-57
Oil on panel, 30.7 x 25.9"
Walters Art Museum, Baltimore, MA

SQUISHY: Yesterday people in the USA re-elected Barack Obama to a second term, voted to approve same-sex marriage in Maryland and Maine, and elected the first openly gay senator. 

ST. JOHN:  Someone pinch me!  Just like my golden curls, this seems just too good to be real!

Adoration of the Shepherds

Adoration of the Shepherds (detail)
By Guido Reni
1630-1642
Oil on canvas
Museo di San Martino, Naples, Italy

Remember, daylight savings time begins tonight.  Don't forget to set your Light Up Squishy Jesus back an hour before you go to bed!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Bernardo Bitti
1575
Possibly a copy of the original

You know, my cat woke me up by barfing up a hairball at 4:30 in the morning, and I was having a crappy day....until I saw this painting.  Day = made.

Notre Dame de New York

Notre Dame de New York
By Fernando Botero
1966

Yeah , that's right: MARY HAS A PUMPKIN ON HER HEAD!!!!  Happy halloween people. 

Nativity

Nativity
Detail of a miniature from the prefatory cycle of the Nativity, Oxford England

Mary, I have to hand it to you, if anyone has mastered the art of armpit-boob breast feeding it's you.  Also, that cobalt blue blanket is stunning!

Madonna with Child

Madonna with Child
By Taddeo di Bartolo

Mother and son: they share the same lovely Sienese eyes, and unfortunately, an addiction to neon pink blush.

Enthroned Madonna and Child with Saints Jerome and Petronio

Enthroned Madonna and Child with Saints Jerome and Petronio (detail)
By Lianori Pietro
1453
tempera on panel, 172.6 x 220 cm
From the sacristy of San Girolamo di Miramonte, Bologna, Italy

It's obvious what we have here is a classic case of subliminal penis belly.  What's not so obvious:  why are Squishy's toes so long?  And what's going on with Mary's neck?? 

Madonna and Child with St. Anne

Madonna and Child with St. Anne (detail)
By Defendente Ferrari
1528
 Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam, Netherlands

Squishy, those fishnets are da bomb diggity!!!!

Holy Family with St. John

Holy Family with St. John
By Maso da San Friano

ST. JOHN: The federal appeals court just ruled against the Defense of Marriage Act! 

SQUISHY: Buh bye, lame, discriminating DOMA.  Don't let the constitution hit you on the ass on your way out!!!!

The Mystic Marriage of St Catherine

The Mystic Marriage of St Catherine
c. 1516
Oil and tempera on limewood, 68 x 47 cm
Szépmûvészeti Múzeum, Budapest

I've got hoes.
I've got hoes, in different area codes.

I've got binders full of women.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By Jan Mabuse
Museum of Vienna, Austria

SQUISHY: I believe I can fly.  I believe I can touch the sky.

MARY: (Squeezing Squishy's boob).  Almost a C cup!!!!

Madonna with Child

Madonna with Child
By Giovanni Francesco Caroto
1508-10

Squishy, dude, cut down on the twinkies: you're starting to look like a member of Generation XL....

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Wilm Dedeke
1500
St. Anne's Museum,  Lübeck, Germany

Squishy is all p'od about his disproportionately long abdomen so he's going rip that poor flower to shreds.

Midwives Giving Christ His First Bath

Midwives Giving Christ his First Bath
1100
Detail of a mosaic in the Daphni Monastery in Greece

Kiddie pool inside an outdoor grill?

Adoration of the Shepherds

Adoration of the Shepherds
By Jacopo Bassano
1544-45
Oil on canvas, 54 7/8 x 86 1/8"

Ho hum, another boring adoration of the shepherds, but lordy, THE ASS on that shepherd in the blue shorts!!!  I'd tap that any time, any place, even in a manger.

Virgin with Child with Four Saints

Virgin with Child with Four Saints
By Francesco Bonsignori
1490-1510
The National Gallery, London, UK

Awwwwww...adorkable!