Madonna and Child with St. John the Baptist and St. Sebastian

Madonna and Child with St. John the Baptist and St. Sebastian
By Pietro Perugino
1493
Oil on wood, 164 x 178 cm
Uffizi Gallery, Florence, Italy

ST. JOHN: (pointing) Look over there at St. Sebastian--his plaid loincloth is going to fall off any second now!!!

SQUISHY:  Holy manscaping!  Hey St. Sebastian can you hook me up with whoever does your waxing?

Vierge au Chapelet

Vierge au Chapelet

Mommy, this book is boring!  Can't you read me The Hunger Games instead?

Madonna and Child with Saints Michele, Mary Magdalene, and Angels

Madonna and Child with Saint Michele, Mary Magdalene, and Angels
By Matteo di Giovanni
Pinacoteca Nazionale, Siena

Mary is sooooo stoned.  Pass the munchies.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
By an unknown artist
1400's
Detail of a fresco in the Milan Cathedral, Milan, Italy

Sweet Squishy J.-- gonna pick a nipple flower!

Votive Tablet

Votive Tablet
1798
Oil on wood, 19.5 cm x 14 cm
From the chapel of St. Mary Niederrickenbach (NW) Swiss National Museum, Zurich

It's Gay Pride Parade here in Chicago.  Mary and Squishy are so excited they're actually dressed as parade floats! Now if only their transgender friend in front could wear something equally as exciting.

Happy pride everyone..... 

Virgin Breastfeeding the Child

Virgin Breastfeeding the Child
Artist unknown
Fresco detail

Pillar Jesus: got to pop out of a box for some titty time.

Madonna and Child with Saint Catherine and Christopher

Madonna and Child with Saint Catherine and Christopher
By Matteo da Siena

Sketchy.  Eyes.

St. Joseph and the Christ Child

St. Joseph and the Christ Child
Between 1675 - 1800
Oil on cancas, 43 x 32"
The Brooklyn Museum, New York

Father and son: stepping out on Father's Day in matching cape and gold encrusted gowns.  Looking sharp gentlemen!

The Virgin and Child with Saints and Donors

The Virgin and Child with Saints and Donors
By Master of the Pala Sforzesca
1490
The National Gallery, London

SQUISHY:  Holy crap!  How did I get stuck with this assortment of grim-looking redhead freaks?!?!! Must escape....is it beer o'clock yet?

Virgin Mary with the Child

Virgin Mary with the Child
By Wilm Dedeke

Subliminal penis belly: classic.

Virgin with Infant Jesus

Virgin with Infant Jesus
By the Master of the Perticaja Tryptic
1370-80
Oil on panel, 22.2 × 15.1"
Museum of Art, Ponce, Puerto Rico

Peace sign or gang sign?

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Hans Holbein
1515-16
72 × 55 cm
Sammlung Julius Böhler, Munich, Germany

Alright kid--you're supposed to suck on that thing, not look at it all sideways and confused.

Also, those putti holding up the cloth behind you have fantabulous wings!!!!  Can I have one?

Madonna and Child Enthroned with Saints

Madonna and Child Enthroned with Saints
By Michele di Luca dei Coltellini
1506
Oil on panel
The Walters Art Museum, Baltimore, Maryland

Everyone in this painting is so totes gay!  Even, no especially, the lion in the lower right hand corner.

Family of Christ

Family of Christ
By Danube Master
1520
Tempera on wood

Doesn't matter if you're nekkid, so long as you've got your halo.

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Flemish School
1500's
Oil on wood, 23 x 17.5 cm

Go ahead: hug a 16th century titty today!

Presentation in the Temple

Presentation in the Temple
Detail from the Pacher Altar, St. Wolfgang Church, Salzkammergut, Austria


SQUISHY:  I've got 99 problems but not enough swaddling ain't one of them.

Pregnant Mary

Pregnant Mary
1505
Detail of an altar wing from a fragment of a Chapel in Cham (Canton train)
Swiss National Museum, Zurich

Yo Mary: I know you're a virgin and all, but didn't anyone tell you you're supposed to wear the fetus on the inside?

Nativity

Nativity
By Andrea Previtali
Between 1515 and 1520
Oil on canvas,  52.4 x 84.6"
Accademia of Venice

Looks like the ox and ass are about to have themselves a baby Jesus snack....

Holy Family with Fire

Holy Family with Fire
By Jan Cornelisz Vermeyen
1504
Painting on oak, 66.5 x 50.5 cm
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

This painting is awesomesauce!  What's with the weird naked baby holding a diaper in front the fire?  And the cat--have you ever seen a cat in a nativity before?

Holy Family

Holy Family
Kunstgewerbemuseum Berlin

A very Martha Graham sort of holy family.....