Madonna and Child with Angels and Saints

Madonna and Child with Angels and Saints
By Bernardino Fungai
Kress Collection, New York

WTF? A free St Christopher pennant to anyone who can tell me why Squishy is taking backwards ride on an angels head....

Nativity

Nativity
1330-35
Detail of an illuminated manuscript
Graduale oesa, Aagauer Kantonsbibliothek, Koln, Germany

Look out Squishy: the ox and ass are eating your blanket!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Pieter Coeke van Aalst
Curtus Museum, Liege, Belgium

MARY! Put down your grocery list for a second and take a look at your freaky-ass son! Dude looks like Alexander Schwarzenegger. And seriously what's up with his gigantic left leg?

Virgin and Child with the Infant Baptist

Virgin and Child with the Infant Baptist
By Johann Konig
1610-30
Oil on metal, 28.2 x 22 cm
Grosvenor Museum, Chester, UK

Some guys wear a beard, you know, on their face. St. John wears a beard as an outfit!

Tree of Jesse

Tree of Jesse
By Tobias Stimmer
1583
Braunschweig Herzog Anton Ulrich Museum, Germany

Now this is why The Squishy Jesus Taxonomy is the blog of choice for baby Jesus-ophiles everywhere: where else are you gonna see a Madonna and Child growing out of some guys guts??????

The Virgin and Child between Saint Helena and Saint Francis

Virgin and Child between Saint Helena and Saint Francis
By Amicio Aspertini
1520
Oil on panel, 85.5 x 75.1
National Museum of Wales, Cardiff

No way--are those 2000 year old Hummel figurines?

Schöne Maria

Shone Maria
By Albrecht Altdorfer
Painting on wood
Stiftskirche St. Johann, Regensburg, Germany

Allright! Is everybody ready? Mary, Jesus: go pose in front of the spiral cut ham.

Excellent! Now Mary, could you please adjust your son's toupee a bit? Nice.

Give us a peace sign Jesus. And one, two, three, cheeeeeeseeeeee!

Madonna and Child with St John

Madonna and Child with St John
By Bacchiacca
1525
Dallas Museum of Art, Dallas, USA

St. John's leopard skin shrug = fashion DO.

Virgin and Child with St John the Baptist

The Virgin and Child with St John the Baptist
By an unknown Spanish artist
1500's
Oil on canvas, 62.4 x 48.8 cm
Wakefield Art Gallery, UK
Did you ever wonder how holy people managed to sleep with those halos on? I mean, did they have to push them to the side, or did they sleep on their stomach so it could stay in place?

The Nativity

The Nativity
1400's
Illumination from the DeGrey Book of Hours
The National Library of Wales

JOSEPH: Holy moley our baby is HOT!

MARY: Do you think we can roast marshmallows over him?

Nativity

Nativity
By Geburt Christi
1100's
Illumination from the Albani Psalter

LMAO! Check it out people" the ox and the ass are licking Squishy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Virgin Hodigitria the Unfading Flower

Virgin Hodigitria the Unfading Flower
By an unknown Belarusian artist
Egg tempera on wooden board, 128.5 x 101 cm
National Art Museum of the Republic of Belarus

Oh Squishy! Not the wear-a-crown-to-distract from-receding-hairline trick. I'm not falling for it buddy.

Virgin and Child

Virgin and Child
Illumination from the DeGrey Book of Hours

Oh what the heck--go ahead and splurge! It's Mother's Day. Why not take mom on an electric moon ride through the sky?

The Holy Family

The Holy Family
By Domenico Puligo
c. 1512
Oil on panel, 85.5 x 66.2 cm
Victoria Art Gallery, Bath, UK

There was a little girl,
Who had a little curl,
Right in the middle of her forehead.
When she was good,
She was very, very good.
But when she was bad, she was horrid.

Madonna Lactans

Madonna Lactans
By an unknown Sicilian artist
Regional museum, Messina, Sicily

Breast feeding from collarbone? Awesomesauce!!!!!!!!!

The Holy Family with Saint Anne and Saint John

The Holy Family with Saint Anne and Saint John
After Timoteo Viti
@ 1500
Oil on canvas, 35.5 x 27.5 cm
Astley Cheetham Art Gallery, Stalybridge, UK

Look at those cheeks! I could just eat them up--mwah, mwah!

Virgin and Christ Child

Virgin and Christ Child
By Jean Poyet
1490-1500
Guache and gilding on parchment, 18 x 12.8 cm
Minneapolis Institute of Arts, USA

Yeah, so I realize the angel on the left is playing a lute. But it really seams like he's trying to inflate Jesus. Talk about wind instrument!

The Holy Family With Two Female Figures

The Holy Family With Two Female Figures

By Sassoferrato

Between 1640 - 50

Oil on canvas 88.7 x 117 cm

Ferens Art Gallery, Hull, UK

Shhhhhhhhhh.....he's sleeping. Let's steal his Peeps!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Painting from the duomo in Padua, Italy

MARY TO SQUISHY: Young man, we've had this conversation. You are getting too fat and I told you no more Dunkin Donuts! The next time I catch you eating a danish you're sleeping in the manure pile behind the manger.

The Holy Family with St Simeon and St John the Baptist

The Holy Family with St Simeon and St John the Baptist
By Francesco Rizzi da Santacroce
late 1400's
Oil on panel, 59.1 x 84.8 cm
Ferens Art Gallery, Hull, UK

St. John is apparently starring in a community theater production of Hair.