Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Tintoretto
1570 - 72
Oil on canvas, 39 1/8 x 51

We started out with shots, then I bought everyone a round......after that it's all fuzzy. Hey, Ma, do we have any asprin?

Holy Infants

Holy Infants
By Marco d'Oggiono

Did you hear? The New York Senate just legalized gay marriage in NY. Win! Win! Win!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Mid 1300's
Detail of a stained glass window in St. John the Baptist church, Fladbury, UK




MARY: Hungry? Here is my breast!

SQUISHY: No, I can't do it! I'm too freaked out that you have no neck. I will eat this orange instead.

The Circumcision of Christ

The Circumcision of Christ
Detail of an illuminated manuscript

Attention Rabbi Blue Hat: you are doing something kinda serious with that knife. Don't you want to be looking at Squishy's foreskin, not his face?

Madonna with Child

Madonna with Child
By Correggio
1512-14
Oil on linden wood, 66 x 55 cm
Kunsthistorisches Museum, Vienna

Mommy, can you please explain one more time who I make the Father's Day card out to?

Nativity

Nativity
By Giacomo de Buschis
1470
Fresco in the Oratory of the Disciples, Clusone, Italy

What do you think: are the ox and ass inflatable? Or stuffed?

St. Anne Holding the Virgin and Child

St. Anne Holding the Virgin and Child
1540
Stained glass from All Saints Church, Earsham, UK

Okay, so am I going to have to start a new category for Awkward Families? Because when granny Annie holds little gold haired Mary and Squishy that is one awkward composition......

The Holy Kinship

The Holy Kinship
By Master of the Ortenberg Altar
Hessian National Museum, Darmstadt

Isn't this straight out of Awkward Family Photos? Let's all wear taupe and bring the babies to the portrait studio---yay!

Nativity with Three Kings

Nativity with Three Kings
By Ludolf of Saxony
Illumination

Could it be? Yes, it's true! The king in blue really is wearing a fanny pack!!!!! And the king in green is either has no arms or is wearing a lampshade......dig his boots, though.

Madonna and Child with Angels and Saints

Madonna and Child with Angels and Saints
By Bernardino Fungai
Kress Collection, New York

WTF? A free St Christopher pennant to anyone who can tell me why Squishy is taking backwards ride on an angels head....

Nativity

Nativity
1330-35
Detail of an illuminated manuscript
Graduale oesa, Aagauer Kantonsbibliothek, Koln, Germany

Look out Squishy: the ox and ass are eating your blanket!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
By Pieter Coeke van Aalst
Curtus Museum, Liege, Belgium

MARY! Put down your grocery list for a second and take a look at your freaky-ass son! Dude looks like Alexander Schwarzenegger. And seriously what's up with his gigantic left leg?