The Holy Family with Saint Anne and Saint John

The Holy Family with Saint Anne and Saint John
After Timoteo Viti
@ 1500
Oil on canvas, 35.5 x 27.5 cm
Astley Cheetham Art Gallery, Stalybridge, UK

Look at those cheeks! I could just eat them up--mwah, mwah!

Virgin and Christ Child

Virgin and Christ Child
By Jean Poyet
1490-1500
Guache and gilding on parchment, 18 x 12.8 cm
Minneapolis Institute of Arts, USA

Yeah, so I realize the angel on the left is playing a lute. But it really seams like he's trying to inflate Jesus. Talk about wind instrument!

The Holy Family With Two Female Figures

The Holy Family With Two Female Figures

By Sassoferrato

Between 1640 - 50

Oil on canvas 88.7 x 117 cm

Ferens Art Gallery, Hull, UK

Shhhhhhhhhh.....he's sleeping. Let's steal his Peeps!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
Painting from the duomo in Padua, Italy

MARY TO SQUISHY: Young man, we've had this conversation. You are getting too fat and I told you no more Dunkin Donuts! The next time I catch you eating a danish you're sleeping in the manure pile behind the manger.

The Holy Family with St Simeon and St John the Baptist

The Holy Family with St Simeon and St John the Baptist
By Francesco Rizzi da Santacroce
late 1400's
Oil on panel, 59.1 x 84.8 cm
Ferens Art Gallery, Hull, UK

St. John is apparently starring in a community theater production of Hair.

The Holy Family

The Holy Family
By an unknown Flemish artist
1601
Oil on copper, 18.2 x 16.6 cm

Okay Squishy, put down the grapes and raise your arm up high. There--you're the perfect statue of liberty!

Holy Family with Saints John the Baptist and Catherine of Alexandria

Holy Family with Saints John the Baptist and Catherine of Alexandria By Marco Palmezzano 1521 Tempera and oil on poplar, 23.74 × 36.26 " The Brooklyn Museum, New York Oh, wait, I've got a really good one: a priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar.....

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child (detail)
By Luca Signorelli
1505
Oil and gold on wood, 20 1/4 x 8 3/4 "
The Jules Bach collection

Hold really still! DON'T MOVE: there's a giant caterpillar on your head and I'm going to flick it off.

Virgin Holding the Christ Child

Virgin Holding the Christ Child Detail of a French Illuminated Manuscript from the collection of the British Library

MARY TO SQUISHY: You better stop looking like such a freak, kid, or I''m gonna throw this bowl of tomatoes right in your face!

Madonna and Child

Madonna and Child
From San Procolo, Parrocchiani chapel, Bologna, Italy

'Sup Mary and Squishy J--lovin' the crowns! (But I'm not lovin' the glimpse of butt crack I'm getting through your transparent wrap, S.J.)

Mary's breast looks less like a body part and more like a button to push for milk.....

Madonna and Child with the Infant St. John

Madonna and Child with the Infant St. John By Andrea del Brescianino
Oil on panel, 69 cm diameter
Private collection

ST. JOHN: Hey look at the message from my fortune cookie it says "You will travel far and wide for both business and pleasure".

SQUISHY: "....in bed".

UNKNOWN DUDE WITH BIZAARE BALD SPOT HOLDING A FEATHER: Heh heh!